Maudlin while drinking

Last night I experienced something I had never experienced. I was in a dinner party of 10 friends with whom I have been happy and easy for over a decade. They are my former colleagues. We can talk freely. We never mind our language. We poke at each other's soft rib with no compunction. Above all, we drink. Last night we drank and ate as freely as we had before. But strangely, I felt maudlin in the course. In the past few gatherings, I had felt loneliness among them, especially when they chatted about their office, work and people thereat, or about their overseas travelling. Loneliness among friends is something I can feel at ease. But moodiness while drinking is what I had never experienced. Alcohol had always been my unfailing soother. It has never turned me down. Until last night. I was shocked about that. Today I am still recovering from the shock. Was it because I drank not enough? Was it because I was worried by the difficult work facing me next morning? Was it because I was jealous about my friends' established lives? Was it because I realised the summer had gone for us lot?

'I asked the kings of medicine but it seems they've lost their powers. Now all I'm left with is the hours.' - 'Kings of Medicine' by Placebo